Log 34 -- 27 February 2026

Crash!

Earlier this week, I had gotten results back from an exam in one of the classes I would consider "easier".

I got a 73%.

That sounds awfully silly, especially if you say the log description before getting here, but hear me out on this -- it's a class I would imagine to be easier than the others, and on the first exam, I got a grade that suggests I really only know about two thirds of what was taught. And I'm going into the rest of the siester with that benchmark made about my knowledge and effort.

There's a decent chance that my scores on following exams could drop below that. And I don't know about you, but where I go to school my average grade in all my classes is significant. If any one class is bad, it could make me less appetizing should I decide I want to go to graduate school -- or get a job, since my education is my greatest asset at this time.

The easiest attribution for this is something I've probably mentioned in previous weeks: I'm just not locked in this time. I have been more easily affected by sleep loss, old habits, lingering wants and needs, the stress of not doing well, and so much more -- and yet, I still fail to really get help for these things. I'm forcing myself through a kind of weather that, while I have faced before, I also haven't learned how to properly deal with it.

...Worst of all, I've been thinking more of throwing this Gift away, knowing well that that won't happen just yet.

I suppose this is that little "wake-up call" people talk about getting -- only I haven't really the proper discipline and motivation to interpret it properly on my own.

...Unless...

xc